An alkaloid of opium, thebaine is semi-synthetic morphine, used in the manufacturing of painkilling drugs such as oxycodone and hydrocodone, pills more commonly known to us, respectively, as Oxycotin and Vicodin. They provide the same plusses and minuses of morphine but without the needle – and are Rush Limbaugh’s drugs of choice.

Rush Limbaugh is very adept at pushing society’s button and, depending on whether your politics lean left or right, is an idiot or an inspiration. But that’s not the point. The point is this: if opiate consumption were an Olympic event, Rush Limbaugh would easily take the gold and dramatically raise the bar. The man could pop some pills, folks.

And it seems he did so every day for several years, all the while giving no indication his wittiness and musings stemmed and flowed from a brain soaked in opiates. What a wonderful display. And while he may not get away with it completely, as the law still does apply, he seems no worse for the wear. But it’s early yet, so stay tuned. In the meantime, he’s back on the air for ditto-heads and detractors alike. Which begs the question I’ve yet to hear asked.

Did any of it make any difference?

Rush still sounds like Rush. Of course, his morphine monkey whispers differently now. So I’m thinking had Rush been able to obtain his opiates over the counter instead of under some table, he’d still be doing them today. And anyone who doesn’t believe that should go stand in the corner with those who think it mere coincidence Rush came clean just as the Feds came knocking.

But you can’t blame him, really. And I’m even willing to defend the man. Rush should be able to do opiates to his heart’s content and without fear, other than having his bowel movements chronicled by a few Xs on a whole calendar of pages. Because opiates will bind you up: just taking the normal prescription of 20 Vicodin over the course of a week can strain such things considerably. That Rush consumed the equivalent of one prescription every day for years is where any and all sympathies should lie, and punishment enough. Think about it, but don’t dwell.

Let’s move on. While I believe consuming raw opium the better choice, it lacks the anonymity and, more to the point, access pharmaceutical opiates provide. Our taking so many pills for so many things lends commonality to the practice, allowing it to hide in plain sight. And finding so many pills to take is easy, if not fraught with risk, as demonstrated by Rush Limbaugh.